While it may be old, I’m a huge fan of the series Kung Fu with David Carradine. Each episode contains a nugget of philosophical thought that is at once self-development and moral guidance.
In one of my favorite episodes, young Kwai Chang Caine gets angry when partaking in a ritual that all the young monks-in-training at the temple partake in: bringing rice to the master. Basically his attitude is “I’m no slave… why should I bring you rice?”
You may expect some reprimand from the master along the lines of “I am the Master! If you want to learn from me, you must be humble.”
Instead, the Master empathizes with Kwai Chang, and invites him to sit in the spot where the Master receives the tribute. Kwai Chang becomes instantly frightened, yet follows the instructions. Then the Master bows to Kwai Chang Caine, and gives him the rice that was intended for the Master! Kwai Chang Caine is squirming now, embarrassed at having said something that would cause the Master to serve him!
After persisting in this way for some time (washing Kwai Chang’s feet, bringing Kwai Chang his meals, etc.), Kwai Chang finally relents to the teachings of the Master. The Master asks Caine how sad it would be if one were not given the opportunity to serve someone else. The Master says “If in serving one is served and in being served one also serves, are these not folds of the same garment?”
”I’m due for a promotion, I deserve a raise.”
A common theme in the workplace is the employee who feels he is owed a promotion, or she is “due” for a raise.
Place yourself in the shoes of the manager when this opinion is expressed. You have a true desire to serve your direct reports. You know that a primary motivator is income and title. And yet, when the raise is “deserved,” the promotion is “due,” do you not feel like young Kwai Chang, feeling forced to bring rice to the Master? Do you not question the deserved-ness of this raise or promotion?
I am not immune to this reasoning. After two years, I felt I was due a promotion. After all, others who were there longer got promoted about every two years, why shouldn’t I?
The problem with this mindset in the employee-employer relationship is that it ignores the relationship and focuses on unspoken (and undefined) expectations of what should happen. When I said I “deserved” a promotion after two years, I believed that two years of work means the company owes me a promotion in the same way they owed me salary, but that’s not the reality. My salary is part of a contract. My expectation of promotion is only that, an expectation.
The best business relationships are based on clear contracts and solid relationships. If the two sides of a relationship are constantly having to write contracts for every little thing, it’s not effective, and it’s not a good sign of a valuable partnership.
On the other hand, when the partners focus on serving the relationship and the interests of the other partner, the relationship thrives. The focus is on service, on providing value, and the trust is that the value will be returned, even if the specifics are not written out in every detail.
When you’re an employee, you are in a partnership with your employer. Respect their situation. Serve your employer, and allow your employer to serve you.
If you feel that you are in servitude, rather than service, to your employer, question yourself first. Are you expecting something that hasn’t been discussed? Are you feeling you’re owed something simply because of time served? These beliefs come from anger, not respect.
If you feel your employer can serve you better, ask for what you want in clear, plain language. Trust in the relationship you’ve built. You may not get what you ask for because the employer can’t afford it, isn’t able to approve it, or various other reasons, but you will be listened to. If you’re not, it’s time to start looking for a new situation where your service is respected in kind.
The point: the professional expects rewards in exchange for honest service. She doesn’t expect it for “time served.” She prioritized the relationships over any particular request. She has the mindset of mutual service driven by mutual respect.
How have you lost sight of service and respect in your profession? How can you improve one of your professional relationship by shifting your focus from “what’s in it for me?” to “how can I serve you better?”